I wanna talk about it: Failing

August 16, 2025

"¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."

Romans 7:15-20 NIV

I have often read this passage and said to myself, "WHY CAN'T I JUST DO IT RIGHT EVERY TIME?!?"

After all, I am a child of God, right! When leaving for the day to start a new one, I have this fresh new feeling. I am hopeful that I will be able to walk on water...Lol!! I should have this supernatural power to overcome the days' stumbling blocks, perverse desires and thoughts. Like anything else, I feel that I will have the victory, beaming with holy attitude and character. Gosh, doesn't every believer desire that! Whatever the obstacle, I am going to maneuver through with flying colors. Yeah, SURE!!

In any moment, I can totally lose my salvation (not literally, but maybe). Someone cut me off on the road, kids made me lose my head, a co-worker is acting less than professional in the workplace, Boss is getting on my nerves. I'm sorry, I wanna have a fleshy moment on someone.

Perhaps it has nothing to do with the outside world. It's internal; a social media reel caught your attention, and now you've found yourself on a porn site. The neighbor annoys you to the point where all you can focus on is getting revenge. In my mind, I understand that this cannot be good for me, and it will not be beneficial to my spiritual health. So why can't I simply go about my day with a clear mind, unconcerned about those situations?

I am a human being! That's why!

Born with the natural tendency to do what is automatically natural to me; to feed those ungodly urges. I've heard it said that doing what in unethical and immoral is not taught. It comes inherently. In my flesh, I can use verse 20 to excuse my unethical, immoral self. Heck, I will keep doing what I know I should not do because the wrong doing is already inbred in me. I mean, this life is already stacked against me. I should just give into the prods that plague me. God knows I am gonna do it, and he is going to forgive me.

But I am saved by Grace...

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?

Rom. 6:1-2 NIV

Paul goes on to say (paraphrased) in that same paragraph versus 3-7, that we are crucified in Christ, as our sin has been covered by his blood. We are a totally new person because of that baptism in death.

This is not an excuse for me to go and do whatever I want.

In verse 19, I am reminded fully that I can, and I WILL fall.

Today, I took my eyes off the road, and I allowed my flesh to have its way. I was alone, in a safe place, and no one was gonna to see me. Regrettably, I didn't choose to call on the strength of the Spirit to come over me and provide what I needed to walk away, to just say "NO!" Sometimes the lures are too strong, and I made the choice to go with what made me feel good. I am not thinking about how it will hurt me, set me back. I am not thinking about the way I'm going to feel later because the Spirit is going to come like a rock thrown from your toddler to the side of the head. Just like that, now I am totally convicted. Like a moth to the flame, I am lulled into that pleasure and then burned when it's all said and done.

Those are the instances I concern myself with on the daily. I give myself over to the intoxicating split second (it feels just like that, too). Then WHAM MO, that one pebble or stone on my walk completely blows out my ankles and now my witness is totally obliterated. I put my head in my hands, knowing full well that I blew it.

I am quickly brought to the verse in Hebrews 11 where it is said that "Sin is fun for a season."

I think about King David and the adulterous affair he had with Bathsheba, but it didn't stop there, he continued in that sin by having her husband killed to cover it up (2 Sam. 11:1-27). He was labeled "a man after Gods own heart" (Acts 13:22). WAIT!! This GUY???

There are strongholds in my life, repeated situations that I have had to overcome again and again. I fall short daily. There are days when I come home and think, "Man, I got through that totally unscathed." Then there are days like these when I say, "You are a complete and utter failure. How can a good God love a misfit like me?

I am so thankful that there is hope, grace and mercy in my Lord and Savior.

I am blessed that the one who came and shed his blood for me understands all my shortcomings and imperfections. He was the perfect example of how to live life in all its temptation and deception. He came and did not sin. "¹⁵ For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin." Hebrews 4:15 NLV

I live in a world where GRACE is. Every day is an opportunity to exercise restraint. This is the time to tap into that supernatural power I speak of. Not only that, but I should pick that route every time.

Unfortunately, there are many people out there who do not believe that this is even a thing. I came from that place. I did what I wanted to do. Likewise, I did not care who I hurt, I did not care how it looked. I was pleasing me and that was all that mattered at the time. Don't get me wrong, I grew up in a home where there was religion (we'll get to that in another post), I had that feeling in my person that messed with my conscience. There was guilt, but it was not enough to stop me from continuing. I went about my business thinking it would have no impact.

Since I found Christ, life is changed. Yes, I still screw up. I'm not perfect. I won't be that until he comes for me (Phil. 1:6). I'm going to make a lot of mess. I am cursed in that way. Like I said earlier, I am human. But in my humanity, there is a God who understands why I do what I do and because of that there have been many victories. He loves me so much that he did everything he could to snatch me from the throes of an eternal damnation. Furthermore, he didn't want to lose me. I am comforted by and grateful for that.

Now I strive to do the best I can, even though my best is short of a perfect deck.

That's all he asks of me.

I'm happy to give it.

Love ya,

Mauds