Evaluation and Conviction

June 26, 2026

I know it's been a little bit but here we go...

I don't know about you, but the Lord has had to grow me in the way of understanding and wisdom with a heavy hand. As I am being refined, the Lord is always challenging me. Because I am growing, the accountability grows. He tests my character, my ethics, compassion, grace and my moral compass. It is a level of stretching that never stops. Many times I have to go to the cross with conviction from the Holy Spirit and then take a step back to evaluate things. Sometimes it's an easy slap on the hand, I am quickly realigned. Then there are times I hold out and continue to do my own thing. Eventually it brings me to a place of total surrender and repentance. When I get there I am crying and feeling horrible (Rev. 3:19).

Now, do I allow that spirit of rebellion to stunt me! I certainly do, I am human, it is my nature. I am a child with a tendency toward it, but it doesn't make it right. I have to remember this in my walk every day. Just like anything, there are consequences. I am not above being convicted nor am I at a level in my spiritual walk that does not require consistent self-reflection. I haven't "Arrived" by any means. That arrogant tone will only get me deeper into trouble and further from God.

"Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall."

Proverbs 16:18

"By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom."

Proverbs 16:18

That is how the devil landed in hell. Yes I said it (Isa. 14:12-17). This is why the Jews were constantly at war and suffering. Much of it was because of their lack of faith, but most of the experiences were clearly the lack of self-examination and repentance (the entire Old Testament).

It is wise to walk in humility when it comes to conviction and evaluation. I am not bigger than God. (Romans 12:3)  

I often battle with overthought. I am playing the reels over again in my head trying to justify my behavior or to punish myself for not representing my God appropriately. Neither of these is the path to take. Beating yourself up over it is not humility, it is sin. Take it to God, drop it at his feet, repent and press on.

Over the years, I have gotten better about self reflection after the Spirit has convicted me concerning something. I am more aware, a lot more sensitive, and quick to make things right. Unfortunately, I still struggle with mulling stuff over and getting stuck in rewind. I do this more than I like to admit. I talk up a good game, but I must get into the practice of doing what I preach.

I am quick to recall the story of the Prodigal Son. In Luke 15:14-24, the Prodigal is at his lowest point, recognizing that he has sinned, and eventually he repents.

The beauty of being a daughter of the Most High is that I am always brought back with loving forgiveness and unconditional love. I am reminded that Gods grace and mercy is ready and waiting for me. Nothing keeps me from being in this glorious place except me.

Hugs,

M