Dad

Father dancing with daughter

October 2025

This one is going to be a bit harder to get through. But here goes...

There is so much to say about Dad. Some good and some bad. Won't be completely told in one go. As time goes on and memories come to the forefront, Ill share more.

A little backstory about my father. He was the oldest of 5. Born in Mexico and came to the United States in the 60s. He was here on green card and married my mother shortly after he came to the states. He served in the Army and went to Vietnam. What he

endured was horrific but not the kind of things that many men endured, his was physical. The United States Army drafted him with the promise of Citizenship (that did not come to fruition till many years later). He spoke very little English, but he was able to make friends despite the language barrier.

My father was many things when he came back from the service. He was a cooks' helper (a sous chef in modern times) for a cook who was always inebriated. I always laugh when I think of the story he told. He was a trash truck driver for a bit, but what he always wanted to be was a Truck driver. Believe it or not, that was his dream.

In 1975, he finally got his shot. He went to work for Old Man Taylor. Truck driving was done very different in those days. There wasn't FMCSA, trucking schools, etc. Nope, it was some good old-fashioned learn as you drive experience. Dad would tell stories of his rides with Taylor. From the yelling and screaming to the 4x4 across the knuckles at the steering wheel. Not sure if this was totally true. Dad was a very good storyteller.

Dad went out on his own in the late 70s. Owning his first truck and trailer. He was so proud of that white, all chrome, 18 speed shift with dual sticks.

That's where Dad spent the rest of his life, behind the wheel of a Semi.

Dad never went past the 1st grade. Here he was making a name for himself without a degree. He was a smart man, but he knew how to play the system. Part of me was very proud of my Father, and then there was the other part that disappointed me.

Dad was a gentle man, but slowly, many trials and tribulations within his own marriage and extended family hardened him just a bit. He went about his business and took care of his family. There was a lot of volatility within his marriage. Unfortunately, we lived much of that out, watching him do battle with his wife and his family.

I saw a hero when it came to my father, but sometimes he let me down. I loved him very much. I wanted to be everywhere he was. I was his oldest, so I got to spend the most time with him before my other siblings were born and old enough to take time away from me. Before I started school, I was the first one to ride in that passenger seat. Dad had many friends, and he had nicknames for all of them. There was Randy, Meathead, Car 54 and Johnny Lee. Dad earned himself a nickname from the guys, too. He would be known forever as "Crazy Joe". The boys took care of me. Johnny Lee sang to me often, and I got to ride with my other babysitters. I always had the best time riding with my dad.

The heartbreaks came, one right after the other. Mom and Dad fought a lot over his family. I remember when mom told dad to leave. He packed his things and I cried along with my sister and brother, begging him to stay. There was the year his youngest sister was murdered in the Ortega's. It was a highly publicized murder. I remember seeing it on the news. Then there was that time dad was late coming home from a job going over the mountains... We were all worried because we hadn't heard from him. It was beginning to get dark, finally the lights of his rig came faintly up the hill. Dad had limped his way home after almost losing his life. He told the story of coming around a corner up in the mountains, only to find a car with a family stopped in the middle of the road. He veered off the highway, heading over the embankment to avoid hitting them. His eyes were red from crying. I have never seen him so scared.

There were many amazing times with Dad that I will never forget. He wasn't afraid of much. He was always out there enjoying life with us. Trips to Rosarito, Tijuana Mexico summer RV outings, motorcycle rides, horseback riding, swimming in the ocean (dad really couldn't swim, but he was out there anyway), Saturday breakfasts out in the pit he dug, and my all time favorite memory....Dinner at the Crab Cooker after a full day at the beach. He always made it to our softball, volleyball and swim meets. Finding a place for him to park the rig was not a problem for him.

I'll always remember the sacrifices he made for us. I believe now that he loved what he did so much that he never thought it a sacrifice.

When I left home, life got harder and our relationship suffered immensely. My Father was heavily influenced by my mother. I know I hurt him too, leaving the way I did, eventually growing into a woman and having my own family. We were estranged many times. It was difficult to be the black sheep. Funny thing was Dad was too. We had a lot in common, he and I. Often times I wished that he could see it, but he was too proud.

Whew, that was a lot.

In my later years, I would hook up with dad and take my place in that passenger seat. Dad and I would have some good conversations. It was just good to be with him. Dad and I were a lot alike. We hurt the same way, we loved the same way, we treated people the same, and we wore our hearts on our sleeve. We shared many of the same opinions most times.

I lost Dad to COVID in 2021. The three years prior, we began to heal. I think my dad was trying to repair the broken. Doors were opening, and the Lord was blessing him. His family was coming home. Dad was suffering silently, though. He had been experiencing a lot of pain from the surgeries he had in the military and the truck driving for all those years. I seem to think there was more going on than he was sharing.

I wish I would have known what I know now about my father. Not only that, but I would have made a great effort to reach out and spend more time with him. It's true what they say, when you die or when a person you love passes away, you don't think about anything other than, "I wish I could have spent more time with them."

That's what I desire most of all.

I have plenty of regrets. I got to talk to him one last time before he passed. Someone told me a long time ago that the last thing to go when someone is leaving to stand before God is their hearing. I hope he heard me.

I love you Dad and I miss you so much. But like you always said, "Ill see you when I see you"

I am still mourning.

Your Eldest,

Mija